452nd post, sunny day.

I guess my mum is spot on most of the time.
Just yesterday she told me, you should stop running away from your problems/reality.
I guess it's true.
I have been running away from these all, to make life easier for myself, happier for myself.
But I know that we can't keep running away forever.
It's the same logic for when I choose to take a long distance bus trip home when I'm unhappy, when I finally reach my stop, I'll have to put all the unhappiness behind and alight happy.
The distance home is to let me have a cool off period, or a time limit to how long I can be unhappy for.
Right now, at least for these two weeks, is also a cool off period for me, a period for me to enjoy myself before I face the reality and what I need to undertake.
Today is the last day for escaping from reality.
From tomorrow onwards, I'll need to face what I have to do.
If I do manage to qualify for the LUE, I'll do my best and try again.
Time to pick myself up and do better than before.

*

Also, recently came across this quote on twitter:
"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."
To those people who have faced the walls I've once put up one way or another , I wasn't really trying to push you away. I'm sorry if I may have made you felt this way. But I guess it doesn't really make a difference now whether you see this or not since most of you have already left when you've met with these stupid walls. I was just a victim of my insecurity I guess. I really thought when putting up these walls, someone will come and try break them down eventually. I guess it was the wrong way or perhaps the walls I used to built was to high up or strong hence no one could really break through it.

I've changed, or at least I've been trying to.
I just want to say no one is perfect and perhaps even after changing, I'll still have imperfections.
But please don't judge me after one mistake I've made.
I'm not perfect, but I'm always trying my best to change myself into a better person.

*

I dare not say I may succeed in the second try.
I dare not say I may succeed in becoming a better person.
But I shall try and try again.
Well, at least I hope I can do that, identify my mistakes, learn from them and change for the better.

Labels: learning